It's a trap. A trap of hope and what-ifs. I've fallen into it. Every time someone asks me "How is your mom doing?" it's followed by "I know someone who. . . ." had this kind of cancer and lived 15 years.
My mother told me she didn't want to hear any of those stories, but she called me on Sunday to repeat one about the guy who was given 6 months and lived 15 years after he went to MD Anderson. This inspired her to make the decision to try to get in there. I encouraged her. At this point, what can it hurt? The oncologist only said "I don't know. It won't be weeks or months. It's very slow-growing." So it could be years or a decade or more. Hell, no one knows for sure regardless. It's all in the mind and how you approach it.
For now, the stories don't have an impact on me. I don't discourage them. People want to help. It gives them a way of expressing empathy. Right now, I appreciate it. But it might be weeks or months when I won't.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Monday, April 18, 2016
"Treatable but not curable"
That was what the oncologist told us on Thursday, April 14th. Here is a brief history of this journey so far. I'm not going into a bunch of detail. It changes nothing.
My mother first had breast cancer in 2000. She had the standard treatment at that time: lumpectomy, chemo, radiation.
All was clear until fall 2015, when she noticed a rash on the same side as the original cancer. A rash? That's not cancer. The oncologist said she was almost positive it wasn't but did a biopsy anyway.
Three weeks later, still no results. I told her she better call them to find out what the hell was taking so long. She did. They had lost the sample.
After giving her stupid choices like "You can wait and see if you notice any changes" or "you can come back in four months and have it checked again" she opted for the only sane choice: she had another biopsy.
A week later they told us it was cancer.
They ordered a CT and said it was only in the left breast, so that was good news. The oncologist prescribed a hormone-blocker and a drug called IBrance that is obscenely expensive. At each subsequent appointment I heard the following opinion" "This is dramatically better." Every time.
Until two weeks ago.
My mother noticed a lump in her right breast.
She already had an appointment with her surgeon and oncologist that day. The surgeon did another biopsy. The oncologist said she didn't know what it was. She ordered a PET scan.
So that bring me back to April 14th. Diagnosis: stage four metastatic breast cancer given the fact that they identified the cancer in the right breast as the same type and that there is apparently a lesion on her T-12 vertebra that no one spotted on the multiple bone scans she has had over the years.
Things that don't make sense:
The cancer in the left is getting destroyed by the drugs.
The lesion in the spine shows evidence that it's "healing".
No one noticed anything on the right side until my mother felt it two weeks ago.
Why would something appear while she is being treated for already existing cancer but is the same type?
So it's supposedly "treatable but not curable."
I'm about as sure of that statement as anything I've heard in the last three months.
My mother first had breast cancer in 2000. She had the standard treatment at that time: lumpectomy, chemo, radiation.
All was clear until fall 2015, when she noticed a rash on the same side as the original cancer. A rash? That's not cancer. The oncologist said she was almost positive it wasn't but did a biopsy anyway.
Three weeks later, still no results. I told her she better call them to find out what the hell was taking so long. She did. They had lost the sample.
After giving her stupid choices like "You can wait and see if you notice any changes" or "you can come back in four months and have it checked again" she opted for the only sane choice: she had another biopsy.
A week later they told us it was cancer.
They ordered a CT and said it was only in the left breast, so that was good news. The oncologist prescribed a hormone-blocker and a drug called IBrance that is obscenely expensive. At each subsequent appointment I heard the following opinion" "This is dramatically better." Every time.
Until two weeks ago.
My mother noticed a lump in her right breast.
She already had an appointment with her surgeon and oncologist that day. The surgeon did another biopsy. The oncologist said she didn't know what it was. She ordered a PET scan.
So that bring me back to April 14th. Diagnosis: stage four metastatic breast cancer given the fact that they identified the cancer in the right breast as the same type and that there is apparently a lesion on her T-12 vertebra that no one spotted on the multiple bone scans she has had over the years.
Things that don't make sense:
The cancer in the left is getting destroyed by the drugs.
The lesion in the spine shows evidence that it's "healing".
No one noticed anything on the right side until my mother felt it two weeks ago.
Why would something appear while she is being treated for already existing cancer but is the same type?
So it's supposedly "treatable but not curable."
I'm about as sure of that statement as anything I've heard in the last three months.
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